Why Imperfect Kaleidoscope?

I spent a great deal of time coming up with the name for this site. Oftentimes when I watch videos, read books, or listen to other families talk, I would feel discouraged. It seemed as if they were just flawlessly implementing trauma informed strategies, and their lives were sunshine and rainbows. I am not a perfect person. Changing how you parent and teach is HARD and messy. I do not get it perfect each time. There are some days when I just want to sit and cry or when I know my responses to a situation created the challenges. Hence the IMPERFECT part of the name.

Kaleidoscope. Why Kaleidoscope? I was listening to a speaker one day. He was talking about diversity, equity, and inclusion. He said something about how we all needed to become “kaleidoscopic”. He talked about how it was really a shift in perspective like the old toys where we looked into tubes and broken pieces of plastic and turned it to make new shapes. The more I reflected on this word, the more I liked it for the name of my site. Trauma informed responses is really about shifting the perspective on how you look at a behavior. Instead of looking at what is wrong with the child, or responding as if the child was being bad on purpose, adults focus on the cause of the behavior and the need behind it. Instead of seeing broken pieces, you see the beauty of the child before you.

So there you have it: Imperfect Kaleidoscope.

About Me

About Me

I am a special education teacher of 25 plus years and mom to 6. I have a bachelor's degree from Indiana State University in special education, a masters degree in special education from Purdue University, and a masters degree in Trauma Informed Practices in Education from Columbia College of South Carolina. I have been a foster parent for many years. I am imperfectly trying to use trauma informed practices in my home and in my classroom. I am hoping to help other families by sharing my experiences. My house is loud, and my life is messy. I do not get it perfectly each time. But by shifting my parenting perspective, each day is getting a little better, and bit by bit we are all starting to heal. In the classroom, trauma informed teaching has allowed me to approach discipline differently and have better relationships with my students and their families.

I have been a teacher for over 25 years. I have always taught special education. I started my career co-teaching in 8th and 9th grade. Then I moved to a self-contained classroom for those grade levels. After a few years I switched to elementary school and taught in a resource room for students in Kindergarten through 3rd grade. I eventually moved to a self contained classroom for students with autism, and then later to a classroom for students with intensive disabilities. During these years, I have taught countless children with a wide range of disabilities. I have coached new teachers. I served on leadership teams and intervention teams. When in graduate school, I met the most amazing professor. Through her, I began to see that I could dream bigger. I was blessed to travel with her and a small team of students to work in the Dominican Republic to provide disability training to teachers and orphanage staff there. Once my husband and I became foster parents, my eyes were opened to the national health care crisis of the effects of trauma on children. The impact of trauma affected my home on a very real and incredibly destructive level. I searched for resources to help my child and save my family. We were given countless referrals and encountered “expert” after “expert” that gave me ideas like sticker charts and stricter rules. I pleaded with people to understand that our problems were beyond stickers. Finally, in desperation, I went back to graduate school for a second masters degree in trauma informed education. I needed the knowledge to help my child, and if I could not find the experts, I vowed to become the expert. Around the same time, I reached out to post adoption support in my state. I was teamed up with two amazing ladies, and for the first time, I felt like someone understood what was happening in my home and had real ideas on how to help. I devoured information on trauma. The Connected Child by Dr. Karen Purvis was game changing. I watched all the videos I could find on the TBRI website. I began my graduate program, and finally I started to feel like I could breathe again and like just maybe we could make it to the other side of this. I dived into my classes and signed up for some on-line classes through the Trauma Research Center as well. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk was amazing and gave so much information! Lastly, I began to apply to the TBRI classes. I applied a few times before I was finally accepted. While I do not pretend to have achieved expert level (there is always more to learn!), I know so much more than I did when I started this journey. I am applying my new knowledge in my classroom and in my home. So I am starting this site so that maybe I can help someone living in a family like mine, struggling to get through each day, to know they are not alone and give ideas beyond sticker charts.